there was a time when i was innocent
i remember playing in the dirt and not worrying about who was up next to break me


dirtying up my barbies, twisting their hair into buns,
and forcing them to kiss ken didn’t seem wrong,
it didn’t seem like it was anything really,
just a normal thing to do


but then how did those images pop into my head?
how did i know ken would like for barbie to kiss him down there


repressed memories, forgotten moments that shaped me into this


and i wonder how many times it really happened,
how many times was i in the bathtub with him;


the hands exploring parts of me that i didn’t know could even feel


i don’t remember crying,
i don’t remember screaming for help
but i do remember re-enacting everything with those barbies


years later, i watch other kids playing with barbies
and i question the validity of everything


memories can be forged from immense imagination;
couldn’t this be that?


but then i see him again as an adult


i watch his eyes burning holes through my skin
and i realize nothing was fake except my own innocence. 







05/24/2019
Posted on 05/24/2019
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