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The Spectrum

by Brian Francis

They refer to him by his condition
As they explain why he acted out
They somehow seem to miss the boy
Struggling to adapt to their expectations
He adjusts slow, like wading through syrup
Every bit a struggle every second a worry
He has never been comfortable with them
Too many voices and interactions to absorb
I have watched it happen too many times
The shifting and discomfort obvious
Glancing about looking for some sign to guide him
Anxiety mounts within; the coil wound tight
That is when I embrace him and hold him
That is when he smiles and me
With love shining in his eyes he melts into me

They do not touch in the school it is too dangerous
So, the coil rebounds; it is simple physics after-all
For every frustration there is not always an equal action
They do not touch; well some do and thanks for them!
They like to reprimand and punish the square pegs
Like they can elect to be round if they choose
They want to grind down the corners correct his form
He so wants an education and friends, yes friends
He makes his friends just fine for a change it seems
Yet the concept of maintaining a friendship escapes him
He has grown so much struggling every day – growing

Thankfully, some parents cannot understand the pain
The pain of watching the square peg struggling into that hole
Watching as they try to whittle his perceived quirks away
I hate round holes they haunt me every day thinking of him
Worrying for him and fearing for him tearing for him

He tells me about the pain and sadness that assaults him
How he doesn’t think he wants to go there any more
We did home school and Mom exhausted herself teaching
But he wanted to be like all the other kids – normal
I cry inside when I listen to his suffering exposed
When I hear the regret in his voice as he explains his feelings
My coil tightens and I struggle to contain myself
Oh, how I want to defend him, repair the damaged corners
Heal the hidden wounds and scorched edges
He sees it in me and he stops and smiles a sad smile
Then he embraces me and he heals my wounded soul
He is my hero he is my boy he is my purpose he is my joy


Posted on 04/16/2019
Copyright © 2020 Brian Francis

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