He was a tall, gangling young guy back then, with plenty of
charm and boldness. There is a dangerous kind of innocence
and he had it.

His gray eyes, bright and silver-quick, checked out my soul
in a flicker of his eyelashes and he almost smiled but then
sternly stopped himself. His eyes rapidly but thoroughly
scanned the rest of my body right down to my toes and then
slid away again across the scuffed floor of the hardware
store.

Darcy always dug me because he was a tortured soul himself,
like I was, and he was doomed to love - and I hereby remind
everybody that Darcy was and is a truly passionate person -
doomed to love with one absolute restriction. Any girl who
was going to share the splendid isolation of the mountains
where he had built his admittedly fabulous cabin - have you
seen it? Well, anyway, she simply had to have very strong
legs. And he wasn`t sure if I qualified.

Naturally, there had been other girls, and some of them were
perhaps more strong-legged than I, but none of them seemed
to be in splendid residence, if you know what I mean, at the
moment. I guess those same powerful legs that the other girls
had were also able to walk, perhaps even to stomp, their way
back down the mountainside to the town, to the highway, and
away.

And how very sad and ironic that would be for poor, poor Darcy
because, as everybody knows, he had come all the way up here
to the mountains to live in the first place because he figured
- and according to him he spent all his time in high school
just studying and thinking this out - because he figured that
for sure the girls up in the mountains would all have very strong
legs. He can`t help it if strong legs turn him on, can he? He
was just born that way and it might even be astrological or
something.

Don`t dare think I`m kissing and telling secrets either, okay?
Because, as I found out later on, Darcy told everybody all that
stuff himself, whether they wanted to hear it or not. As if he
expected them all to get busy and help him out with his terrible
problem or something... duh!

So then I walk into the hardware store looking for lipstick by
mistake and I thought he was just some big kid but he noticed me
right away.

You know, I constantly amaze myself. I really do. But that might
be because I have such low self-esteem, huh? Maybe that`s it. Yup.
Maybe I need a real relationship but I just can`t seem to do it,
although obviously there would be so much more loving and all that.
Resisting temptation, resisting temptation... is not all that hard.

And I think I must be sort of unconsciously psychic too, because
so often I have got these sudden overwhelming urges that turn out
later on to have been exactly the right thing to do. Like... yeah,
like for instance yesterday when I all of a sudden remembered to
put Jeremy`s work boots out of sight in the closet, not ten minutes
before Bradley walks in. He`s home early from the office - if you
can believe that one - and he wants me to go to a party at this big
hotel downtown.

So he goes pawing around in the closet, thinks he`s doing me a big
favour by picking out what I should wear. So then I was so nervous
about Jeremy's boots that I quick put on what he wanted, which looked
totally pathetic, I thought, at the party in the hotel.

There were these massive mirrors in the long hallway there, after the
major domo guy let us go in. I didn`t look that bad, actually, in
spite of the stupid long gown covering up my legs. It does help that
it still looks like I`m twenty-two and I have such a skinny figure and
a face that is interesting as well as pretty. Bradley always looks
happy when he takes me out anyway. He just gets sort of mean when
we`re at home sometimes and I can`t understand one of his big words.

It wasn`t long before he met up with his high-roller buddies and left
me alone. So I wandered out onto one of the balconies, three or four
stories up above the street. The night was nice and warm with a big
fat moon and only a few straggly clouds in the purple sky over the
city.

Then somebody let out a long low whistle and that made me look down.
And there was Bill, with his long red braids and his jacket fringes,
straddling his Harley. He`s one of these guys who doesn`t look like
much until you see him in action. He rides a horse about the best I
ever saw, but here in the city he pretends to be a biker.

I gave him a big smile and leaned out over the balustrade of the balcony,
all pleased with myself that I know such a big word. I had to be quiet
because of Bradley. He gets so friggin` jealous, eh? I hate that. I
really do.

So I held my arms out to him like an invitation but Bill just shook his
head, showed me the gold ring on his finger, and said, "No way, baby."

I got mad and sad and turned around and went back inside to the big
boring party and hung on to Bradley`s arm and squeezed his huge bulging
bicep. He thinks he`s a real man when I do that. He was standing
around with all his buddies and I swear every last one of them was
starting to go bald.

So that was when I decided to go back to the mountains the very next
morning and try to find Darcy again. He`s got this real great place up
there. Have you seen it? Because you know I do have these terrific
long legs that can walk all the way up there.

08/30/2018