The time has come to learn
That I no longer need to escape;
That the problems from which
I always ran are no longer
There to be ignored.

Perhaps I am a malcontent
After all: determined not to
Allow myself to enjoy
The good things that have
Finally come my way.

Or maybe I am just long sighted:
Looking past the present into
A future of worst case scenarios
And inexorable regression.

As much as I have tried to
Ignore it, this pessimism has
Always been a part of me,
Looking for the next thing
To go wrong, looking for a way out
Of the most comfortable places.

It seems I am so used to travelling
That I cannot accept arrival at
My destination. I continue to
Look for what I already have.

Someday, surely, I will learn
That being still is not giving up,
And that my happiness
Is not undeserved?

01/25/2018

Posted on 03/06/2018
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