recycled.. (old poem)

by Olivia Weinkein

drowning in this atmosphere, held down...

by Olivia Weinkein

drowning in this atmosphere, held down
by your breath and gravity, pulling
myself out of this twisted escape,
meeting your alien-soul head on,
lingering for one more glance,
strange how strange can be.

& the forecast doesn't call for anything
who are we to fill in the blanks, i've
trusted enough people to now know better
than to trust anything you have to say
but build me a brick wall to crash in to
fashion it from sweat and booze love me
enough to teach me just what i was built

to lose and push me from this high-horse,
silly clown, honestly, i beg of you, it would
be so much prettier if you were crying but
you saw that coming now didn't you & i
thought about the things we said and of all
the times you did not laugh, as i fingered
my way into you and then somehow, lost my

way back. and i promise i will not think
of this as something beautiful i didn't have
or give to you the forgiveness you've
never learned to give back but i trust you
when you say don't call me, i know what all
this running is about as you will do anything
with anyone and i would prefer to do without

so don't come looking for me in the late night
hours where you left me so long ago, don't give
all those people another reason to laugh behind
my back "i told you so" don't throw me to your
killing-fields then turn back to be amused
don't do to me the things i would never do to you

& if you feel my memory creeping up onto your thigh,
just shake it off, kill it, blame it on the wind,
because I've wrote this same story atleast a hundred times,
so believe me when i say

i know just how this ends.


Author's Note: From 08/06/2008

Posted on 02/12/2018
Copyright © 2018 Olivia Weinkein

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