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Motherhood

by Aaron Blair

They tell me that mixed babies are cute.
Like I'll rush right out to acquire one,
spread my legs before my husband and demand impregnation.
Clearly, they don't understand what I'm too polite to say,
which is that I don't trust myself to cup an infant's head in my palm
and think of nothing but sweetness and light and baby smells.
What if there's some night when it's two a.m. and
I haven't slept and all I can think to do
to stop myself from sliding right off the face of the world
is to put the baby in the bathtub,
shut the door, and take every pill I own,
while the water starts to spill out onto the floor.
There is a dark inside of me.
How could I grow a child inside of it?

02/26/2016

Posted on 02/26/2016
Copyright © 2024 Aaron Blair

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Rob Littler on 02/27/16 at 03:49 PM

glad you can make us all feel like we are sliding off the edge with you, because that is the saving grace here, the imagery of the darkness we ALL recognize. You are not alone. As a parent of lots of kids, I have to reassure you that you are seeing things clearly. Life is THAT exactness, hey, I mean as a poet, remember Sylvia Plath started with an idea of an oven inside her head before she put her head in the oven, tots in tow...AND this also reminded me of the episode in Homeland where Carrie almost does what's described, and I hated her character afterwards, still do...so its a charged subject any way you broach it, but what you feel is Universal. Thanks for the write!

Posted by George Hoerner on 02/27/16 at 07:43 PM

Just read this piece. It is amazing how many people don't think about the responsibility of raising a child. And fewer realize how many parents of young parents end up taking on that responsibility for the younger parents!! Nice write!!

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