Sidelong glances are nothing new.
They have been a part of my life
For many years, for as long as I can
Remember, sending annoyance, derision,
Hatred, and rejection in my direction.

Add this to the ever lengthening list
Of things from which I have not learned.

They are something I have never mastered:
My eyes ache if I turn them too far,
My mountainous nose gets in the way,
And I have never really wanted to hide anyway.

This is, and remains, who I am.
If I am ashamed, I should not hide, but change.
If they do not understand, I should not
Explain, but accept and move on.

*
The fading light of Sunday evening
Brings much missed clarity to my thoughts,
And still nascent hope that this time,
Surely, it will inform my actions as it has
So often failed to do.

Soon, I shall step into the darkness
Once more, and let the dark pavements
Carry me home, let them become
Solid rivers under my feet,
Feel the lightness of weight in my shoes,
And believe, truly believe, that I have changed.

This is not the end of the story though:
It looks like a closing scene, as
I disappear into where the sunset
Recently was, but life is not like that.

There are many years to come,
Of peaks and troughs, of ebbs and flows,
And in none of these shall I hide:
In every one, I shall be me.

10/18/2015

Posted on 12/10/2015
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