Some days, it is almost as if I am
A human, like everyone else.
I feel like part of the world, rather than
Somehow separate from it.

Today was about being alone, yet
It has been distinguished by
Interactions with others, real and imagined.

(They are alone, together. Occupying
The same space, yet all facing
The same way. Perhaps they are
Tired, like me: cursed with being
Exhausted by being with other humans.)

There is no respite. Perhaps what I have
Wished for all my life is
Actually not what I need.

And yet this is the happiest I have been.
Perhaps there is some elusive
Middle ground; a pinnacle of my existence
That I am closer to than ever, but
Have always overshot.

If I pull away, if I regress,
Will I move too far the other way,
Or will I be able to be as I have been
Today? Will that, finally, be enough?

To these questions, I have no answers.
I can only know if I have
The courage to risk trying.

03/14/2015

Posted on 04/24/2015
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