by Maria Kintner
You ever hit that moment...where you realize you should have taken a left turn way back when, instead of being so sure of where you needed to be?
Because maybe I wouldn't be here right now. Even though that sounds like such a horrible thing.
I go back a few steps....
I go back a few more....
And then I realize that I have gone far enough. Far back enough to be seeing myself in random ways. In clothes I can never wear again.
But I miss they way they feel. I miss being able to see myself in a mirror, and not look away too quickly. Lets just get this over with. I say that to myself all the time.
I put the pieces back. I place them, old and yellowed, right where they need to be. Or where they were before we were all broken. Before the birds tore the worms from our decaying skin.
I am tired of the grave. Tired of the cold. Tired of the wrong type of sunlight. I should be smiling in it. I really should.
When I close my eyes, I want to finally see nothing. And I want to dream.
Author's Note: insomnia sucks.
Posted on 03/07/2015
Copyright © 2021 Maria Kintner