keep waiting

for things to get better

keep waiting

for things to change

but nothing gets better

and nothing changes.

I had this frozen microwave pizza in my freezer

finally tonight I zapped that bitch in the microwave

and it burnt my mouth something awful

how can they sell crap like this?

why did I buy it also?

I can feel the burnt skin peeling in my mouth right now

as I type this

oh well

almost 6 am and I cant fall asleep...

I went out last night with this angry fat jewish saxophone player

we had beers at some bar

I met her online

she drank more beer than I did

later we walked down to the beach after the bar closed

it was cold

dark

windy

we were supposed to hang out the week prior

but I feel asleep that night

I awoke later to half a dozen angry text messages

mad at me

mad at the world

mad that I was not answering her texts.

We sat on that beach for awhile alone in the dark

she had bad breath but I kissed her anyway

then she pulled my pants down and gave me head

while seagulls circled us

making loud noises

hundreds of them flying in dumb circles

as the waves gently broke in the early morning hours

It was cold and windy

I couldn't cum

I tried to push her off but she wouldn't let go

finally she broke loose and pulled down her pants

I had sand all over my hands and arms and ass and hair

I got on top and tried to mount her

I couldn't with my pants around my knees so I pulled them down to my ankles

I got on top again and tried to make a go of it

I was worried someone would see us

"am I in?"

"no, you're in between my thighs"

"how about now"

"no!"

"listen I can't do this" I said

"fine, whatever" she was pissed

I got dressed and followed her to the parking lot

we didn't talk

she started her car and drove off without saying anything to me

I still had sand in my hair.

I shook my head

I managed to get most of the sand off

I drove home that morning without the radio on

what would I do now?

I still hand sand in my shoes

I could feel it.

04/01/2014

Posted on 04/01/2014
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