Like the idea of this. The lines "the time it must take/For them to suck you in/One leg at a time/Do you squirm upon the bed/Fighting with the zipper" are poignant and grab the reader in a great way. Think that it might be more powerful if the lines "Holding together/The loveliest women of the world" were taken out, because that sentiment is so implied throughout the piece that it kind of makes it sound a little Hallmark-ish, which is fine if that's what you're going for, but if so I think it'd work better if it were more exaggerated in that direction throughout.