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barber shop
by Artur DesruisseauxI went to the barber today
I figured why the hell not
I look like shit
what harm could it do
I told him to cut off all my dirty burned out hippy hair and give me
one of those shaves with a straight razor
the barber was a pretty good guy
we talked a little
"I got my first social security check today" he said
"oh yeah"
"yeah"
"what are you going to do with all that money"
"nothing, it's great"
"congratulations"
I used to go into this barber shop ten years ago when I used to have more hair
but not a whole lot since then
and wouldn't you know it, nothing has changed
a cop was across from me getting a crew cut
...that place cuts cops hair for a discount
I could tell he was a cop too,
that stupid look with stupid hair
it reminded me of grass that people plant in front of their homes
neatly manicured
like golf and football fields and disneyland
someone made a law that you must keep your grass short
otherwise cops would come and take you to jail because you let what your grass do what it wanted to do
grow!
kinda like hair
hair is pretty stupid in my opinion
unnatural and difficult to keep up with
especially my hair
I have shitty hair and bad skin
anyway I am getting off track here
the barber started shaving me
he had the blade on my neck
"this guy can kill me at any second, maybe he was having a bad day"
he did a pretty good job though
afterwards I stopped and looked into the window of this antique shop
"shit, I look like a little pussy now"
"kinda like an ugly brad pitt with bad skin and no money"
oh well
afterwards I went to JC Penny and bought some cheap pants
that would probably fall apart after
3 washings 05/24/2013 Posted on 05/24/2013
Copyright © 2024 Artur Desruisseaux
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Laura Doom on 05/25/13 at 07:58 PM I pissed myself reading this
which is bad news
considering all the shit I've been drinking
can you drink shit?
I guess not
unless you've been drinking all the shit that I've been drinking
so now I have bad skin
and piles
and bad breath
which is all down to you
well apart from the piles
and the bad breath
and yeah maybe I had bad skin before
but I want you to feel guilty
so I'll keep that to myself
anyway now I'm going to the hairdresser's...
hairdresser's?
what kind of $#%@ is that?
do they dress hair?
does brad pitt sweat!
maybe he does but that's not the point
what I do know is
hairdressers don't dress hair
they strip it
that sounds like a misrepresentation of service offence to me
and in some places a serious spelling mistake
not to mention jaywriting
so I'm going to the strip shop
for pubic hair extensions
I just hope I don't get any of that crappy tonsorial humour
dumping in my ears
"do you want your pussy to look like bob marley?"
"who?"
I'll buy some carpet cleaner later
they say it does wonders for halitosis |
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