just thought

about how

much

I really

HATE

being PITIED

I probably

could have

gotten a

“handicapped”

placard a long time

before I actually applied

for one

I have been handicapped

from the beginning

but my parents

really believed

the theory

that if

I was raised

to be normal

I was smart

enough to

make up excuses;

bogus as they were,

to compensate for

my problems

BAD speech?

I learned to talk

on foreign soil

Had unsteady walk

No one noticed

Not good at gym?

I’m a girl!

Don’t have to good

at EVERYTHING

Will Dodge Ball

get you into

a great college?

Don’t want to fail it

(and secretly)

I felt like CRAP

when NO-ONE

wanted me

on their team

(I was an

“instant out”)

Friendship does not

count

when you want

to win

I understand

at a young age

so; I fight back the

tears- or go to

the bathroom

and cry

I was a loner

“Alone in a crowd”

That was me.

I trusted few people

and that trait

has carried over

into adulthood

I’m NOT cold

just cautious

One becomes

a product

of their genetics

and their environment

It was easy

as a child

to ignore

Christmas

I grew up

in a Jewish

“ghetto”

I knew few

Christian people

I had one

friend who was

not Jewish

Ironically,

she was

the butt

of more

jokes than

I was

Kids are mean

Religion is

inherited

It never made sense

to me to dislike someone

for being “different”

I knew I was living

in a fragile environment

One wrong move

and I would be

exposed for what

I was (or wasn’t)

I was too smart

to blow it

No-one told me

It was a feeling

I grew up with

My parents were right

the Doctor was right

raise the child

without the stigma

and things will work out

….and they did

Back to the placard

I would not get it

because….

When you got out

of the car

people looked at you

and tried to guess

your handicap

No placard=

NO HANDICAP

When I could no longer

hide it

I got the placard

What the hell

….everybody

has one…

…right?

01/13/2013