by Richard Vince

There are words I wish I had never
Written, expressing feelings I wish
I had never felt. There are friendships
I wish I had not ruined.

Bitterness is a pill I should never
Have swallowed; it was no cure
For rejection, not least
One that was only imagined.

Everything was cushioned in vagueness,
Masquerading as subtlety in my
Usual way, and yet she saw right
Through my faux art disguise to
The iceberg floating darkly beneath.

She hurt me unwittingly, and yet
I wanted to hurt her deliberately;
To exact revenge, a shameful, petty revenge
That makes my stomach turn
Even nine years on.

Even if it had felt good, it would
Not have been worth the cost:
I paid for that vile act with a
Friendship, sacrificed on the altar of
My ego, slain with a bitter knife
Whose handle I should never have taken.

Even if I can repair the damage
I so wantonly inflicted, there will
Still be cracks: I will still see the pain
In her eyes when she read my words,
Even if it is long gone.

There are words I wish I had never
Written. There is a girl I wish
I had never hurt.


Posted on 12/23/2012
Copyright © 2024 Richard Vince

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Alison McKenzie on 12/24/12 at 10:46 PM

You've captured the lesson so completely. That last line drove it home, and felt bad for both you and her.

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