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Pendulum

by Christel Crews

The pendulum swings
carrying me from one frame of mind
to the polar opposite

Somewhere in the grey area
I find a state of calm
but that only lasts until
it crosses my mind
and the motion begins again

To my right
I am done with you
done with this
and I want to find freedom

To my left
I hear the disappointment in everyone's voice
and I feel the self-judgment creep in
that I broke that vow

To my right
I fear the unknowns
I breathe a little easier
and wonder if I'll ever find what I'm looking for

To my left
there is some level of comfort in the mundane
Suffocated and unhappy
but its been home for the past 5 years

To my right
I see your eyes filled with pain
It isn't my fault I don't love you anymore
Can you blame me for just wanting to be happy

To my left
There is hope in your glance and I die a little in response
You continue to love and expect a positive outcome
While the shackles grow tighter around me

To my right
the broken promises on instant replay
condemnation because I couldn't make it work
and doubt if I ever will

To my left
the questions circulate if I'll ever
be able to smile again

The pendulum swings
carrying me from one frame of mind
to the polar opposite

Somewhere in the grey area
I find a state of calm
but that only lasts until
"it" crosses my mind
and the motion begins again

12/22/2012

Posted on 12/23/2012
Copyright © 2024 Christel Crews

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