I left work early

this is it

I am going to fucking kill myself

I cant take this anymore, I'm weak and I'm delicate

like a little gay daisy!

but I cant do this sober

fuck no!

I stopped at a bar

like all the Desruisseaux's in my family

we were all drunkards

I ordered five shots of a jack and five beers

"where's your friends at" the bartender said

"they're out back parking the monster truck bro"

"ah cool man"

I drank two shots and slammed down a beer

this will be easy

make a nice little warm bath and cut both my arms in half

it will be slow and warm and nice and easy

there was a couple sitting next to me

"it was really difficult deciding between law school and medical school" he said

"you poor thing" she rubbed his arm

there was a football game on the TV

goddamn football!

what a stupid activity!

what a waste of life!

he remembered he would take long walks on Sundays by himself as a kid

he had no friends

he could see into the houses too

almost every house was watching Sunday night football

he could smell their bbq's

he could see their TVs

was this what life was about?

some goddamn football game while you ate the flesh of some animal?

"who's your team" the couple asked

"fuck them both" he said "I hope they both lose and catch AIDS like magic johnson"

they were both silent

"football is a great sport" the guy said

"football is for a bunch of fags who like to smash into each other, take showers together and jack each other off" I said

"is that right?" the guy said

"fucker you look like a pole smoker to me, do you suck dick and take it in the ass?" I said

"hey you want to take this outside" the guy said

"goddamn right I do" I was feeling the drinks

his gal grabbed his arm "listen we don't have to take this assholes shit" she said

he was big, 6'2 220

"no, no, this guy aint right and someone needs to teach him whats right"

"lets go pole smoker" I slammed down my drink

we walked out the back door

guys never want to take the first punch but fuck that

get the first punch in, that's the trick

before he could say anything I popped him in his goddamn stupid nose

he dropped like a brick shit house

"jesus christ" he screamed

"I think you broke my nose" he started to cry

"that's right I said, I'll break your nose again and twice on Sunday if you ever fuck with me"

I kicked him and started back towards the bar

his woman came up to me

"you beast, she screamed, she clawed my face"

I let her

I kinda felt sorry for her

then I grabbed both of her arms and pushed her away

back inside I ordered another five jacks and another five beers

"where's your friends" the bartender asked again

"I don't know" I said "they have never been so late"

it was true too

pretty soon the word got out that I broke this sonofabitches nose

two guys approached me

"hey buddy we don't like your type"

"that right I said"

"yeah"

"well I don't like you"

"you want to take this outside?"

"goddamn right I do" I said

I slammed down my drink and went with them outside

these guys were big

6'2 240, 6'3 250

shit

before I could do anything

they were on me

one guy was wearing dirty construction boots

then his dirty goddamn construction boots hit me in the mouth

I could taste blood

then I felt myself getting punched in the face

one guy was holding my arms back while the other guy punched my face

people were starting to gather

"get him" someone said

"fuck that guy, he makes me sick" a woman said

when I saw my chance I started to run

"fuck this shit"

I never ran so fast in my life

they chased after me for a few blocks

but I soon lost them

I jumped over a fence and hid in someone's backyard

they wont find me here I thought

I was kinda nice sitting there

I started thinking about my warm bath when I felt something cold against my head

it was a shotgun

"hey mutherfucka, what ya doing in my backyard?"

"shit, I said, I put my hands up, I don't mean any harm I said"

" I don't give a fuck what you think you mean, you better get the fuck outta here now"

it was a black man about 50 years old, I could see his wife in the window

"ok, you win, he opened the gate, next time I'll blow your goddamn cracker head off, he said"

I thought about it, sounds pretty good to me

I didn't say anything

I walked a few blocs

I need to get back to my car

but how?

when I got back to the bar there wasn't anyone around

shit, I was surprised

I got into my car and it started

on the way back I had different

plans.

11/01/2012

Posted on 11/01/2012
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