I wish that I could understand why you are doing this to me,
I never thought you would be the one person who would make me so unhappy.
The thought of what happened that night, just makes me want to break down and cry,
I hope because of what happened, I will not have to give up my life and die.
I guess you got what you wanted by causing me to live my life in fear,
You will never know when I cry, how much pain goes into every tear.
I figured if I killed myself before you got the chance to attack,
I would not have to keep watching my back.
I wish that you would tell me why you did this,
The only reason I ask is this is because of you my life no longer has any bliss.
I wish that you would leave me alone and let me live my life,
I just want to get rid of the painful memory of almost being killed by a knife.
I want to be able to feel like I can start my life over again,
I wish that I had never trust you, I wish that I had never called you a friend.
I am to the point that I just want to lay my life down and die,
I never thought that my life could be made to feel like a lie.
Could you tell me why I should have to let myself give in?
I feel because of you, I will never get the chance to win.
I can still picture you taking the knife and cutting me,
I feel like I will never be able to let anyone close to my body.
I keep on trying to find something that can tell me what I am looking for,
For some reason it is the one thing I don’t want to hold onto anymore.
I know that being raped is one of the hardest things that a girl can go through,
What’s even harder is being a survivor and not knowing what to do.
I cry out for God and I feel like I have done something bad, so he doesn't want to listen,
I know that he will always be there but he is the one thing that I can’t afford to be missing.
When I was attacked I thought that I thought that I would make my family break apart,
Since I have told my story, I feel like everyone has broken my heart.
What I can’t figure out is when I tell someone they do not want to be my friend,
I just wish that I could trust someone so that I could make this misery end.

10/28/2012

Posted on 10/29/2012
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