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Christ crackers and Jesus juice

by Johnny Crimson

They hid her away
it was all such a blunder.
I remember her brother,
I hit him with my bumper.

We once shared a bunker,
he often mentioned that one day he'd be the bunker buster.
Yet, he was actually a butcher
who loved to add butter
to everything that wasn't a cucumber.

His sister had a dumper,
that slime ended up in a dumpster
right off exit 52 near Dunbar.

We used to all dunker,
I mean we used to all dunk her.
I'm not too smart see, I was a gunner
and I used to go by Gunther,
but now it's just Hummer.

I'll soon end world hunger,
me and 3.4 billion hunters
chasing an army of suicidal jumpers
with hoarding tendencies into a junker.

I dislocated my right lumbar
it left quite the lumper.
My girlfriend is a monger,
she always gives out her number.

When I'm King I will plunder.
I'll be a faster runner,
I'll invite girls over for a slumber
and just maybe I'll stumper.
I mean stump her.

We met in the summer,
when I attempted to thumper,
I mean thump her,
with the roaring of thunder
from my force from down under.

Yet it's really no wonder
they will always stay younger.
The high school I hang out at now has my home and cell number.

...bers.

10/23/2012

Posted on 10/23/2012
Copyright © 2024 Johnny Crimson

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