Done this too long
can I bury my head in the sand?
The stark images ringing all too clear
the things that I can't drink away.

Been away too long
can you remind me what peace is?
Justify all times that has passed
and all the things that have changed.

Taken too much out of me
is there nothing that can put me back?
My soiled hands are so restless
can't stop shaking visibly.

Paid the price too many times
in the land of lambs, I'm a lion.
So hard to stay way from my true nature
can't remove the black in me.

So you think I'm well...

But so many times I look at you
there are so many things that I wanna do
but put on hold, myself I've sold
gone away to distant lands.

There are so many times that I think back
what I use to be, what life was like
can't turn around, I can't go back
forever a changed man.

Gone away too many times
my home looks so unfamiliar
I walk old streets, can't you see that I'm nervous
this isn't where I belong.

Taken this road too many times
I've lost my way to normalcy
every image changes to a war-fueled memory
how I fight to keep my calm.

Said goodbye too many times
dear God, I don't think I can make it back
When I look outside, I shake so hard inside
it's the meaning to being strong.

Said farewell too many times
dear God, I don't think I can take it back
a lifelong obsession to taking the peaceful road
when all I want to do is fight.

And you think you can relate...

But so many times I look at things
there are so many times that I wanna change
but put on a shelf, myself I've dealt
too much pain by my hands.

There are so many places that I'd rather be
but here I'm stuck like a refugee
can't change face, I'm still a monster
when you needed me to be.

I'm broken
I'm frayed
The future's
Gone away

I've taken
I'm torn
My emptiness
Don't mourn

Once grateful
Now scorned
Your patience
Forlorned

The time
Has passed
Watch me fade
At last

(Can you help me put my guns done
they seem so attached to me.
My bloody footprints lead from my enemies
tasting freedom, more than I can stand.

All these years, I've held back
the world moved on without me.
Put me in the glass shelf
in case of war, break and set me free.)

But so many dreams that are gone
what will it take for me to move on
can't stand to act a normal man
when violence is what I've wrought.

There are so many things that I'd like to do
but here I hide, it's just my due
can't bring me back, I'm already gone
can someone please help me move on?


And I'm gone...

06/16/2012