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Father Figure

by Curtis Sethaler

It was Twenty Odd-Eight years ago
Maybe somewhere around this time,
When you decided you were better off with out us

You and mother parted ways
A divorce yeah that parts fine,
But to sign away your children who could do that?

All the wondering when I was young
The feelings of that doubt, not love
You pinned them to me from, I guess, twenty miles away

Was I ever good enough,
Strong enough, or smart enough
To rise out of the hole you shoved me in when you signed your name

It took some years of painful growing
Lots of time, but now it’s showing
That no matter who you are today, to me you’re always who you were

How can I forgive, Forget
This battle it’s not over yet
I feel I’m dug into the trenches far to deep to cease this fire

But what does the anger gain me?
What peace in pain? It can’t be
So what is it that I’m doing by not letting all this go

I’m losing,
So I’m done with you.
This anger you can keep it too
You can sign this child away for good, I’ve got no use for you now.

I’m thirty and you missed it,
So I hope you’re happy now
My child will never have to grow up and know this hurt and doubt

One last thing, You’re forgiven,
Don’t apologize you’ll lie
I’ll release ME from this anger, you’ll never see this, or me,

Goodbye………………

05/07/2012

Posted on 05/08/2012
Copyright © 2021 Curtis Sethaler

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by A. Paige White on 05/08/12 at 03:43 AM

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry you had to endure that. I too had issues I had to get through concerning my mom. Forgiveness truly does set YOU free. Funny how i tend to forget that myself.

Posted by Cole Bradburn on 05/13/12 at 03:15 AM

Beautiful Curtis. The journey you've shared here is raw, as are the emotions from something scarring as deep as this. Huge realization here: "I’m losing, So I’m done with you. This anger you can keep it too You can sign this child away for good, I’ve got no use for you now. " You realized that it's about you letting go, accepting, forgiving, and moving forward. Proud of you.

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