I went out looking for the ghost I used to be
And when I found him he fell in the rocks beneath my feet
A part of me died inside and I am lost beyond my eyes
The mirrors shattered now my soul can't find a way home
And yet, perhaps he was the one in me that held me back
When I fell in love but left the words unsaid
And it crawled into the pile of regrets to save in a box
He's been with me forever and letting him go is so hard to do
As I look through the cracks unsure if I should reach out
To pull him back from the broken image of who I used to be
Or let him sink into a grave beneath the rocks and reflective glass
That only served to remind me of how safe it felt in familiarity
While the fear of a path not travelled lights under each new footprint
uncovered in the sand where fresh steps record a journey untold
Unfolding through a haze of mystery I want to cut into shreads
The cape of a super hero who saved no one but himself
From becoming the one he was always meant to be
The enemy within cloaked behind the cape of tattered threads
That can no longer hide the side still residing inside, waiting to fly
Learning to fly while no longer held down by the weight of the past

04/23/2012

Author's Note: this is my first complete piece of anything since my stroke and I am finally starting to feel like myself again, which is kinda what this poem is about, but more of a new self, maybe because the brain cells I lost have forced me to let go of something that has disconnected in memories and visioon but that still remains in the creative regions of grayness between my ears where everything is black and white. I've been trying to write something for over two months now and I just couldn't write more than a stanza here and there, so it felt good to have an inspiration even if it wasn't my usual style of writng a poem. I was starting to think I had forgotten how, so I will have to do some more to keep from losing it altogether. jj
http://astore.amazon.com/seedsandweeds-20

Posted on 04/24/2012
Copyright © 2026 JJ Johnson