Hypocrisy tastes bitter by Andrea Colton I wander, yet I stick. Immovable I, move. On tip-toes I waltz through this thriving betrayal. I am a breathing, beating, hot-blooded heretic. I turn roots into ashes and vitality into drought. And I go on…for want? I will not allow a day without this blindness. I shall not remove the ribbons that tighten around my senses. My steps are numbered in one, two, threes: Must. Not. Fail Must. Not. Fail Must. Not. Fail Misshapen hues cast ominous rays upon these shaded, delinquent eyes. My windows are dripping with cloud-shaped cut outs and wildly savage blooms. We are one, aren’t we? The savage. The intolerably corrupt. Am I all I never was and was really all along? My heart will surly ravage this love to death. As sure as these long drawn sighs escape a tired chest. As sure as these bones, in every regard, tellingly call for better days; Perhaps, a lighter load? But you will go on. Yes, you will go on as well as I will not. 03/27/2012 Author's Note: I am grieving the loss of an eating disorder. Yes, sounds strange, and it certainly is. But, it still...is. I find this new healthful way of living makes me feel like a hypocrite coming from where I was. It's all part of the disordered thinking, of course, but it is still there and I find no reason why I shouldn't indulge it at least in writing. My husband is also deployed and I gave birth to our baby alone, so there is some anger towards him as well for leaving me alone to not only heal myself but deal with the struggles of becoming a first time parent at 22. And, oh, there are lots of issues. But that covers at least what's in this. And side note, I haven't written in almost a year and I've done so half asleep with the baby sleeping on my lap so, go easy on me. :)*sigh* Done and done. Posted on 03/28/2012 Copyright © 2024 Andrea Colton Member Comments on this Poem Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 03/28/12 at 02:46 PM This heartache comes very real and so solid as written that I can feel it in my own bones. Posted by Mo Couts on 03/28/12 at 05:20 PM Sometimes, even if something is painful, if it's the only thing we have, we feel very strongly towards it. That being said, it's 'normal' to grieve the loss of your eating disorder AND to have some hard feelings towards your husband. This poem is absolutely stunning with it's raw honesty and emotional appeal. Nicely done. Return to the Previous Page   pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online All works Copyright © 2024 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)