i know i am hard to deal with
i am a rationalizing mind
set on changing and
that sometimes causes disruption
between you and i
but you gotta think
i am always on the run
for somebody else's fun
out to get some more
and when that run is dry
i feel all alone
and want to come undone
so maybe i expect more from you
because i don't even know
what it is that makes me happy anymore
its always something for someone
and i push myself into a backseat mode
so i can serve
and i'll probably end up serving more than
this time that i already do
day in and day out
when really i just want to be able to be
complete and happy
and sometimes i guess i want somebody to serve me
maybe thats selfish
expecting that from you
but i don't know who i am anymore
without all the things i constantly do
for whoever it is that rings my phone
at whatever time it is that they want
so can't you see that maybe i want some time
to be for just me
and even when you try and make it
it pisses me off because i can't even take it
because we are out and i have got rent money on the phone
so i gotta run
yet again
and i know that this is making me unravel at the ends
leaving you at home, in my comfort zone
so when i get back
i'll surely blow
and you'll surely be the one
who is at the tail end of my exhaustion pipe
please just don't explode with me
but take the time to help me gather up my pieces
before i beat us both into some sort of submission
because no matter what is going on
i'm here admitting that yeah sometimes i am wrong
and long winded
but i don't know how to make the ends meet in the middle,
i don't know how to belong to something
that doesn't end in a death sentence
and so maybe sometimes i give us one too
because dammit i am not happy
and i want you to know
this is not my pot of tea either
so i am sorry
and maybe so are you.

03/10/2012

Posted on 03/11/2012
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