it wasn’t beautiful
it wasn’t planned
it certainly wasn’t romantic
it wasn’t beside a river
nor near the sea
it wasn’t positive

it was on a bunk on a train
it was by the way
it was drink-induced
it was reckless careless
devoid of emotion
it was physical
not cerebral

i do remember his name
his handsomeness
his hometown and school
i also remember that he
didn’t love me – maybe
he didn’t even like me

it was something to do
and we did it
the iron reek of soot and metal stayed long
i felt unclean in my fresh uniform
i felt sure everyone’d know
what i’d been up to –
so irreversibly ‘had’

05/16/1995

Posted on 02/23/2012
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