They assail me from all sides,
like the biplanes did to poor Kong.
They try to sneak in through my mailbox
and my internet cable, but mostly
through the phone lines. They know
where I live, and they know my number.
They know when I’m just getting out
of the shower, or sitting down to dinner,
because that’s when they always call.
They know I have a timeshare,
that I want to reduce my mortgage rate,
that I bought theater tickets last year.
They try to lure me out with cheap cruises,
zero percent interest, free trial offers.
They want me to take a survey,
donate to a police organization,
my alma mater, environmental groups.
It’s scary what they know. Yeah, it scares me,
imagine that. Fortunately, my growl
always drives them away, but it’s almost
too much to take. I wish I could just
swat at them or absorb their assaults
like Godzilla does with missiles.
But I have to tell you, I miss the days
of the door-to-door salesmen.
They were delicious.

02/06/2012

Author's Note: First published in Fox Chase Review, January 2010.

Posted on 02/07/2012
Copyright © 2025 Bruce W Niedt