“Don't worry,
we'll take care of you.”

The seven deadly words
of waiting tables.

If you know
the people you are serving,
they won't even say it.

If it needs to be said
you can guarantee
it's not happening.

Taking care of me
is not saying a damn thing
and letting that +20%
speak volumes.

“Everything was wonderful,
and you were great!”

The seven deadly words
of waiting tables.

I'll make sure
to fill in the phone company
that my extreme talents
slinging food
is merit to let me off the hook
for my bill this month.

Whether it's at the beginning
or the end of the meal
the tip is most assuredly
already known
when seven simple words
are meaninglessly flung
in my direction.

I'll kindly take
the comments in stride
and always remember
to take it for
what they're worth:
nothing.

11/26/2011

Posted on 11/26/2011
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