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...and the Sheep do not Help for Counting

by Quinn Vokes

Some day I will grow old.

Am I a shell?

Will I ever be more than a messy liar?

I want your arms around me.

Tomorrow it is supposed to rain.
I still haven't bought a new umbrella.
Rain leaks through the holes and I walk with bowed head.

I take it all back. Come back.

Is this all life will be for me? Fuck-ups and late night prayers?

I never asked you your favorite flower, though you know mine.
Do you have one?

I'd give up all my books just to be with you.

Lilies?

My next door neighbor is having a party again.
I'm tempted to call the cops. It's on a Tuesday.
Again.

You changed the settings on my computer.
How the hell do I change them back?!

Harry Dresden is in mortal peril. Again.
I can almost see your smile.

What would life be like..
to live as someone without my insecurities...
and propensity for nightmares and projectile vomit...

My phone is lonely without your text messages.

My face has broken out and I'm still in my work clothes,
writing this instead of actually working.

Yesterday I kissed my hand, wishing the smell of vanilla
didn't ruin my daydream of you.

I'm really weird.

It's not your fault, you know.
You're not him even though you resemble his visage,
and I'm still not over it.
I wish to God I was.

I sleep with the book you bought me.
I cried last night and cradled Abraham Lincoln to my chest.

Okay, that is weird too.

I see so many things throughout my day,
things that I want to tell you.
I know you'd laugh. You'd understand.


...and the sheep do not help for counting.


10/15/2011

Posted on 10/16/2011
Copyright © 2020 Quinn Vokes

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Alison McKenzie on 10/16/11 at 02:23 AM

I love the rhythm of this work. It feels exactly the way thoughts form, the ebb and flow of them.

Posted by Ava Blu on 10/17/11 at 02:59 AM

This is quite amazing.

Posted by Ken Harnisch on 10/20/11 at 12:25 PM

Amazing and absolutely heartfelt, Quinn...i loved the short punchy stanzas, each one a gem sparkling on its own. And that last line: Sigh. Been there, counted them

Posted by Traci Mabats on 11/28/11 at 11:29 PM

This is so quirky and scattered and nuts-it is fantastic!

Posted by Gail Wolper on 02/17/13 at 02:30 AM

Beautiful in its origanality and honesty. I believe you made a mistake in listing this as expllicit.

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