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Free Flow For Four
by David Maurice1
I'll be the writer
You be the pumpkin
2
Blouses touch skin as a breath houses sin
3
I'd rather live like Zapata then die like Zapata
4
I'm be the kickstand forgotten
You be the rider 09/22/2011 Author's Note: 4 minutes of my life.
Posted on 09/23/2011
Copyright © 2024 David Maurice
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 09/23/11 at 02:41 PM Very cool rhythm. |
| Posted by Paul Lastovica on 09/23/11 at 09:54 PM I'm ok with being a pumpkin so long as i can sit and rot peacefully. |
| Posted by Alison McKenzie on 10/03/11 at 05:12 AM I know it's four separate snapshots, but it feels intensely layered. I do tend to take something that simply IS and complicate it, though. The point is that it speaks to me, and I hear the dissonance as well as the harmonies. Wait. I think I might have just done it again. Errrrrm.....I like it :)) |
| Posted by Alison McKenzie on 10/03/11 at 05:19 AM P.S. I would like it very much if you ended up saying that it IS, infact, layered (because that would mean that I got the subtle theme running through the words - solved the hidden mystery). Of course, the best poetry does that for the reader, doesn't it - speaks to the reader in ways that sometimes has nothing at all to do with the orginal thoughts the writer was conveying? |
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