Free Flow For Four
by David Maurice
I'll be the writer
You be the pumpkin
Blouses touch skin as a breath houses sin
I'd rather live like Zapata then die like Zapata
I'm be the kickstand forgotten
You be the rider
Author's Note: 4 minutes of my life.
Posted on 09/23/2011
Copyright © 2021 David Maurice
|Member Comments on this Poem|
|Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 09/23/11 at 02:41 PM|
Very cool rhythm.
|Posted by Paul Lastovica on 09/23/11 at 09:54 PM|
I'm ok with being a pumpkin so long as i can sit and rot peacefully.
|Posted by Alison McKenzie on 10/03/11 at 05:12 AM|
I know it's four separate snapshots, but it feels intensely layered. I do tend to take something that simply IS and complicate it, though. The point is that it speaks to me, and I hear the dissonance as well as the harmonies. Wait. I think I might have just done it again. Errrrrm.....I like it :))
|Posted by Alison McKenzie on 10/03/11 at 05:19 AM|
P.S. I would like it very much if you ended up saying that it IS, infact, layered (because that would mean that I got the subtle theme running through the words - solved the hidden mystery). Of course, the best poetry does that for the reader, doesn't it - speaks to the reader in ways that sometimes has nothing at all to do with the orginal thoughts the writer was conveying?