Sickness, you came home today.
I stood outside to meet you,
held you to my belly and breast while we cried
for the months we had spent apart.

I led you inside and locked the door behind us
in case of intrusion.
You wrapped around me like a child
with so much need and intimacy.

You were with me, even in your absence,
like the heroin in my blood that takes years to disappear.
In the mornings, I rolled over in bed
and laid my head on the cool emptiness
until the night's sweat began to make me shiver.

Our bedroom is the same, left untouched
except for the curtains.
I ripped them down the day I kicked you out
in some sad attempt to heal.

But while you were gone, I came to the conclusion
that I would rather pick at the pain
and sat outside with a pair of sunglasses and a razor
until you stepped out of a cab at the end of the walk
some eight months later.

09/22/2011

Author's Note: Title from the song "Welcome to Bangkok" by Brand New

Posted on 09/22/2011
Copyright © 2024 Meghan Helmich