I hit my head
and reached the
epiphany
that I am not good enough,
not good enough
for you. You are too good
for me.
I try
to be what you want
and
my little human
frailties
are too much.
I am lost without you.
I just don't know
how
to tell you this.
It takes such catharsis
such an epiphany
to even pen words
to a page.
I hit my head
causing a cut,
a mark,
eventually a scar
because I cannot
afford to see a doctor
or spend five hours
in an ER Waiting Room
for a bill I cannot pay.
This becomes my hubris.
I hit my head,
and this epiphany tells me
that I am not good enough,
not good enough for you.
Yet I soldier on,
never telling you any of this
while I wait alone
for you.
I want to be all things to you
yet I just don't know
how to share all o my love with you.
You love me so much
yet I remain out of touch
as I go to bed alone
as I have done
so many times before,
and continue so many times again.
I miss you, it's true
I just don't don't know what to do.
I hit my head.
Look for the scar,
I'll show you.

09/15/2011

Author's Note: ... an ode to James Joyce, who taught me of the epiphany.....

Posted on 09/16/2011
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