i wonder if
when i get older
i’ll look back on my life
and be content
with the idea
that this is the only life
i’m ever going to live
with me as i am

i wonder if
when the pain stops
building upon itself
i’ll be able
to feel again
or if i’ll just continue
through this existence
right here where i am

i wonder if
when there’s too much
emotion shuts down itself
i can express myself
but only on paper
because in real life
i feel nothing in particular
all i have is tears

i wonder if
when i create for myself
an imaginary existence
that makes me
closer to happy
that imaginary existence
begins to be something
no longer imaginary

i wonder if
i’ve destroyed myself
from the inside out
to the point
of no return
if i can still save myself
or if i must simply accept
what i’ve made for myself

i wonder if
when i get older
i’ll look back on my life
and be content
with the idea
that this is the only life
i’m ever going to live
with me as i am

09/13/2011

Posted on 09/13/2011
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