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Better

by Erin Jones

Thought my life would go back to normal. I thought I was getting better.
I thought I had gotten over all this. Thought I was doing better.

I thought it was over
I thought it had ended
That it lost its power
That I was defended

I felt like I was recovering
I felt like I was stronger
Like it was improving
Like I wasn’t to fret any longer

These cravings haven’t left me yet
These impulses are still overriding me
My desire’s control is reason to fret
My compulsions are going to kill me

Intensification of promiscuity and sexual acts
Increased interest related to social activities
Careless or dangerous use of drugs and/or alcohol
Extensive avidity for the rush caused by adrenaline
Extreme reduction of feeling the necessity for sleep

Always liked women, its worse now
Did things with her I shouldn’t have done
Calling all the people I used to know
Staying up all night to avoid being alone

Cocaine, beer and pain killers
The best combination ever
Add reckless driving endeavors
And I might be lost forever

I go to sleep too late
Still wake up early
But I’m wide awake
Never really sleepy

I thought I had gotten over all this. Thought I was doing better.
Thought my life would go back to normal. I thought I was getting better.

09/07/2011

Posted on 09/07/2011
Copyright © 2020 Erin Jones

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Mo Couts on 09/07/11 at 05:42 PM

Wow...in so many ways this sounds like my life right now; thank you for this gem and for getting out your pain. It's beautifully done.

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