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i never believed in soulmates

by Ava Blu

i'm thinking the wine might be reminding me of
last weekend when we sat with the lights low at a
fancy restaurant for this hick town and we had
cheesecake, bread and a bottle of wine that cost more
than a meal would and
you made me laugh as we giggled about everything and we had already
had a bottle of wine right before and we both love to feel it on our tongues
and something about the way you say my name sends shivers to places
that are normally far out of reach and even now with my face flushed
and my bed empty i can feel your nails digging into my thighs as
your face is buried between
and i could sense the moment we became more as if
it's my seventh one
and i wrote a poem last year that was about you but
i didn't know it was about you
and now we are here and you are coming to see me once again
sunday and everyone loves you and i love you and
i don't really give a fuck if this makes sense to anyone
because i am hot, i am done with forcing myself to hide
and i have eighty-five years in front of me, this life
we will have and i bought a hat specifically for when we go
to chicago in february
and my god i cannot deny how much i wanted you when we first met
and my god i will never deny you the things you desire
and i can swear on every bible, every piece of paper that we
both find fucking meaningless and make it feel meaningful because
i am swearing to you, to the future us, to the children we
agree to having, to the way my lips move before i even speak
when you're around, the way my body feels desperate when you aren't
here and i can't say anything you don't already know
but the way you feel around me is as close to perfection
as we can ever achieve
and this is why i can write with my body full of wine
and my arms bruised and these lumps in my chest i keep
discovering every fucking day will not fucking stop us
and i will shine.

09/02/2011

Author's Note:

until now

and i don't give a fuck how sappy that is. fuck you.

Posted on 09/02/2011
Copyright © 2020 Ava Blu

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Julie Adams on 09/25/11 at 03:25 PM

...well i, for one, love every bit, how it coils around you and clings like ivy, creeping between the layers of love and the subconscious. i adore reading u, the love u evoke herein pours into my eyes—open, bulbous and red as a wine glass! Cheers to u, peace, jewels

Posted by Kara Hayostek on 03/05/12 at 01:03 AM

Wow, I've felt that way about only one person, ever. Not only do you have it, but you are living it, not sappy at all!

Posted by Tim J Bono on 11/15/12 at 08:20 AM

Your talent shines here, as always! [though I sense a little anger in the author's note. lol. ;) ]

Posted by Richard Vince on 08/11/20 at 10:55 PM

when it happens, when it actually happens, it really does knock one sideways. perhaps being swept of one's feet is less something the person does as the shock that it really does happen. :) and anyone who thinks this is sappy is just envious because it hasn't happened to them. :)

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