It is unmistakable, the love I feel.
Through all the battles
to see my life clearly, I understand
only a few constants:

I am petrified of the possibility of No,
I have a lot of anger towards my own origins,
and I am madly deeply passionately in love.

Being afraid of rejection,
and madly deeply passionately loving someone
is a painful juxtaposition:

Everything seems to hurt a little bit more,
every gesture, every word from you,
my brain scrutinizing for hopeful signs
and yet in reality, the truth is that you give me no signs at all.

When you hold a precious gem,
and you're being dragged into a river of addiction
it should be no surprise when the rock floats away down the river
and quickly finds itself at the shore looking at you pass by.

And when you finally manage to pull yourself
out of the river,
there are a million gems to look at,
and yet you only want that one precious stone.

Being afraid of rejection,
I want nothing more than a simple yes.
But that can't happen when
you've killed the mockingbird.

08/03/2011

Posted on 08/03/2011
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