I loved a dog.
He was too young
When my children begged for him
Amid all the promises children make
When they are falling in love
With a puppy.

He was gruff and tumble;
Not one to cuddle often.
He adored male energy,
Yet I was his master.

So I loved a dog,
Took him wherever I went,
Endured his tendencies,
Tried to tame his aggressions.

He had a white spot on his forehead
In the angular shape of a heart.
He would incline it toward my chest,
And lean ever so gently in.
It was our hug.

He was curious about smaller creatures –
Tolerant and kind,
I loved that about him.

So when my grandson arrived,
And he was a smaller creature
(whom I naturally adored)
I hoped my dog would love him too.

Instead, he seemed confused,
Perhaps by his tininess
And big lungs;
Perhaps by my affection for him,
The near constant tending.

We reasoned to train,
We spent so much time hoping.

When they were both a little older,
I was invited to live with
My son, his wife, and my grandchild.

But my dog’s instincts seemed to be
Even more inclined to treat the child
As some sort of challenger
As he snapped and growled his way
From one danger to the next.

The two loyalties
Bore no comparisons.

So, yes, I loved a dog,
And cried for days
When finally,
I relinquished my charge of him –
Because, in the end,
I loved my grandchild more.

No one faults my wisdom,
No one argues that I was unfair;
My aching heart a much smaller price to pay
Than the loss of blood and flesh.

Still, I loved a dog
And the hole left
For the loss of our bond
Will not soon be healed.
And I only hope he finds
Another heart to call his own.

07/27/2011

Posted on 07/28/2011
Copyright © 2024 Alison McKenzie