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Stupid

by Erin Jones

I am SO FUCKING LOST
NOTHING makes sense anymore
You try to TALK TO ME
But the words make no SENSE
I miss you but I FUCKING HATE you
You’re driving me INSANE
As if I needed HELP
As if I didn’t have enough DRAMA
BULLSHIT in my life
I HATE you and still I want to cry
I feel FUCKING CRAZY
And now I’m repeating myself
As CRAZY as it may sound
You’re not the only one with ISSUES
You want to play these GAMES
I’ve PLAYED a few a time or two
The only thing I WANT right now
Is a NORMAL FUCKING BOYFRIEND
Not this NOT-BOYFRIEND bullshit
And for some STUPID REASON
I want that one to be YOU
I’ve said SIMILAR things in the past
About your PREDECESSOR
He’s the reason I can deal with your SHIT
And also the reason I WON’T put up with it
I wonder if you’re TRYING to confuse me
Try to get ME TO SAY I love you
Unless you think the OPPOSITE OF HATE
Is ‘like,’ WHICH IT’S NOT, by the way
I’m fighting myself CONSTANTLY
I want to tell you to FUCK OFF so bad
But I’m not one to GIVE UP EASILY
You want to TEST me
MAKE SURE I can take your shit
And that makes me WONDER
You say you’re trying to protect ME
Because it SEEMS you’re trying
Harder to protect YOURSELF than me
And STUPIDLY enough
This is what ENTHRALLS me
Lose myself EVERY TIME
In your eyes or your SMILE
I don’t want to GIVE UP
But you’re making it HARD
To keep TRYING
When you don’t seem to WANT ME at all

07/27/2011

Posted on 07/27/2011
Copyright © 2020 Erin Jones

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Mo Couts on 07/27/11 at 09:28 PM

What a work, Erin! I've absolutely felt like this and related at every turn...so nicely done!

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