| Posted by Jim Benz on 07/24/11 at 06:48 PM I'll have to think about this one a bit. I like the repetition and you used the ant/pants/hula dance bit very well. for me, the funny thing is that I've always wanted to use allis chalmers in a poem, but never done so - so I like that too. But I'll be back. |
| Posted by Timothy Wilson on 07/24/11 at 07:02 PM Excellent!!!! I love your blending of raking a Zen garden to mowing grass. It really reflects how therapeutic the keeping of agriculture can be, though I'm not quite sure if that's what you were trying to express with the comparison. The structure and way it reads out are a welcomed new drum beat to my ears! The ants/pants/hula dance insert was more folk than folk music and the cliché' of ants in pants actually worked to enforce its humbling nature. You not only dared to color outside of the lines with this but you succeeded so I give you major respect in return for your awesomeness. Speaking of gardens, this poem is a rose amongst a thorn bush. Really really good! |
