when we slept between the sounds of the cold ocean waves and the heat of the fire, i felt your hand reach towards the ceiling. i don't recall hearing a sound, but your hand seemed desperate for a rope to climb. a ladder in your dreams, a tunnel in the darkness to get you to the light.
your breaths quickened. your eyes remained closed but your lips began to quiver like a child and i could feel your other hand reaching for my neck. i was like a frightened squirrel caught up in a maze of emotions that did not belong to me. i was like a whimpering mouse feeling abandoned. i was a neglected girlfriend finally seeing you for what you are. and i let your hand reach my neck, i let it tug at the pearls around me, break them off one by one and roll towards the open balcony. i couldn't see a reason to stop you. no, i didn't think any of it would matter now. but you were teaching me to swim. and you didn't even know it. you were grabbing at places on my body you'd never felt before, as if grabbing them while asleep would somehow make me feel it more. and you were taking me down while your other hand continued to reach for the rope, continued to fight for a way out. and i saw the ocean now, i saw the waves atop the rocks pounding and pounding. i heard the roar as you pushed me towards the balcony, as i reached the rails. you were grunting now. you still held fast to the invisible rope while your other hand twisted my neck closer to the edge. your hand so tight on my neck but i continued to breathe and i continued to see the waves pounding the rocks below and the salt filled my nose and the wind blew back my eye lids. and my hair twisted around your hand and my mouth opened slightly in a smirk and your eyes remained close, they fluttered but never opened. i know you didn't want to watch what you were doing to me. and i fell through the cracks, and i landed atop the rocks with the salt water filling my lungs, with the waves pounding my broken neck.

and i could no longer insist you were dreaming.

06/05/2011

Author's Note:

Uh...

I don't know.

Posted on 06/05/2011
Copyright © 2026 Ava Blu

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by JJ Johnson on 06/06/11 at 01:03 PM
This is a gripping read. A dream within a dream perhaps? It must have been, your neck is not broken and your lungs are not full of the ocean. The imagery throughout is striking and even scary at times. I wish it were longer, you always leave me wanting more... jj
Posted by Sarah Wolf on 06/06/11 at 11:39 PM
Except the part with the squirrel and the mouse, it's perfect.  For some reason that part just seemed out of place.  It was breaking up the imagery for me.  But overall I think this is awesome.
Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 06/08/11 at 02:38 AM
Exhaustive, deeply unsettling and relentlessly compelling.
Posted by Wayne Tate on 07/08/11 at 04:58 AM
Ava, your author's note explains everything to me. Seriously, the places you go always startles me. This is seriously good.