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I felt Nothing

by James Zealy

I was 17 and somewhat nieve
A boy scout ready to serve
As a volunteer in a late night
Emergency Room

I was told it would be ordinary
Me a Dentist's son who dreamed
Of following that life of service
But ignorant of brutal blood letting

Until that solitary night
That night that paints
Images of drunken humanity
Soaked in stale sweat soaked blood

That Night when a car drove up
To the Emergency room entrance
That night when the rear doors opened
To a rear seat floating in blood

Still alive in his drunken sweaty squalor
A man almost an empty vessel of life
Was rolled into the operating room
A black man who was as good as dead

Only I did not know it
I did not know that he fought
In his drunken stupor abusing
His ex girlfriend

I did not know his brother
Protected himself with a butcher knife
By stabbing and goring his attacker
Like a pig ready for slaughter

All I saw was a barely coherent man
Laying on a gurny with a two inch
Incision above his shoulder
And a sliced arm

All I saw was a cooly competent
Ambidextrous surgeon
Stitching the open wounds
of a Deadman

And he could of cared less
About this human flotsam
That showed up on his table
As he matter of factly said he had passed

Removed his surgeons gloves
Walked away as if nothing had happened
Only that nothing is still there with me
That night of death and darkness

As I drove home in shock
My wheels bumped twice
As a rabbit ran beneath my wheels
Dead as the human refuse I left behind

And I felt nothing


Author's Note: This Happened. Its in response to the Way Down in the Hole prompt, That triggered this vivid memory of utter brutality. I was always disturbed at the surgeons detachment.

Posted on 05/03/2011
Copyright © 2021 James Zealy

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 05/03/11 at 08:40 PM

Intense is putting it gently. Fantastic write, man.

Posted by Anita Mac on 05/05/11 at 12:05 AM

And maybe somewhere in the back of the surgeon's mind a similar experience was exactly where this detachment became necessary. Excellent write; thank you very much for sharing such a poignant moment.

Posted by Clara Mae Gregory on 05/05/11 at 04:48 PM

Very well expressed...and what makes it even more intense, is the fact that this is based on a real event....you captured it well and left my emotions reeling from the read....this is a wow...

Posted by Morgan D Hafele on 05/26/11 at 12:23 PM

that's one crazy memory, and like gabe said, "intense is putting it gently." thanks for sharing this one.

Posted by Lori Blair on 11/24/11 at 02:29 PM

Through the years I have hit many animals on my drive home..each one I felt terrible about but as for the surgeon I imagine you can only take so much with you before such a detachment? Excellently written

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