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holy ramblings

by Kimberly Bauer

I never claimed to be a saint, As I burned down mental churches of stagnation As I laid out the broken fragments of an insatiable fire and shattered them like glass As I spent all day wishing and hoping to change our crooked past. I never claimed to be a saint As I shook and trembled with imperfection. As I broke the barrier of norm and acceptance As I attempted to change humanity’s mindset. I never claimed to be a saint As I took the crying souls and push them home As I took the misery out of each sentence As I changed the song to an anthem of victory. I never claimed to be a saint As I warmed the hollow spirit; As I cascaded through the holy land As I rode my blasphemous rollerblades out of Eden.

04/06/2011

Author's Note: I still find it a work in progress, but a positive start! Thank you for your help Miss Clara :)

Posted on 04/06/2011
Copyright © 2020 Kimberly Bauer

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Clara Mae Gregory on 04/06/11 at 10:27 PM

This has some interesting verses but in the middle and in the last few, I find it awkward and confusing because of the grammar structure, minor possible typos?, and the use of tenses for the word "claimed" and "claim" and the tenses of the verb's companion verbs(.For example:"as I attempt to change humanities mindest"...I think you may have meant humanity's mindset...and "I never claim to be a saint,as I warmed the hollow spirit, as I cascaded through the holy land" -add the "ed" to claim or take the "ed" off of "warmed" and "cascaded".And last: "as I ride my blasphemies rollerblades out of Eden." "Blasphemies" is a plural noun. Are you trying to make it possessive of the rollerblades?(blasphemy's rollerblades) or are you trying to use it as an adjective? (blasphemous rollerblades). I hope this helps to fine tune this and give it more clarity. I do like this.It just needs a little polishing, imho. :) and in this line:blasphemous

Posted by Clara Mae Gregory on 04/06/11 at 10:31 PM

oops!I meant to take these words out as I was trying to rephrase my comments:"and in this line:blasphemous"<<< should've be deleted. Sorry. Hope it didn't confuse you!

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