Pathetic.org  
 

It's come to this? *rough draft*

by Andrea Colton

Teetering couch chairs would have given me up
if I hadn't wrapped them up in scattered green.
Dehydration in my temples drummed out
beat
after

beat
after

beat.

It's come to this:
these lack luster thighs left to argue on about
the ambivalent clumsiness of worn out knees.

I could scribble out their faces
to finally get some sleep.
These lashes could meld into eyes into sockets into
masochistic dreams.

But I don't know how much longer
I can take the weight of the trees.
The folding and unfolding of it all
while I sing and dance and die with the sea.

It's come to this:
I am my own tyrant to thieve my way
through musings of undelivered speech.

I could cry out "Forsaken flowers!
colour up my grief!"
I could sew dead maple leaves into the seams
of these tresses, these fractured these mangled these
drug induced feet.

But I don't know how much longer
I can chew on this disease.
The heaving and un-heaving of it all
as I flatten and square and corner out this shame.

The couch chairs, confused, whispered through the green.

But I had already sank and evaporated
with my best friend the rain.

03/24/2011

Author's Note: Writer's block. I had to force myself to write this. Not feeling myself lately. Brain's not ticking normally. I'll probably end up scraping this. But at least I tried.

Posted on 03/24/2011
Copyright © 2024 Andrea Colton

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Charlie Morgan on 03/24/11 at 09:23 PM

...andrea, my YOUNG lady this is a delight to be the maiden voyage of a writer's block, errrah blockade!, eh? i like the nuances of "dance" you use for turning points of your writing...check out a 1999-2001 poet laureate: billy collins, he writes to "put a lil' mouse in your pome[my spelling]and let him find himself out"...you had several mice...i think a cool pome for breaking-out of the block--a good pome even if not for that reason.

Posted by Aaron Michael on 04/01/11 at 04:33 AM

these lack luster thighs left to argue on about the ambivalent clumsiness of worn out knees. before i even finish reading, these lines were written to blow my mind.

Posted by Aaron Michael on 04/01/11 at 04:40 AM

now that i finished, I do want to say one thing. The piece, overall, was awesome. However, the line about sewing dead maple leaves did not seem to fit with the rest of the piece. you use imagery that clings to a chaotic feel, yet the word sew has such purpose that it gives such a stark contrast that it almost becomes a speed bump. replacing it with another chaotic word, cast, fling, knock loose.... something.... I don't know. It's just a thought. It was a lovely read, regardless of my minor quip :)

Return to the Previous Page
 

pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online
All works Copyright © 2024 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)