I've seen too many pretty faces in the rain
Running around to stay dry, while their makup melts away
I stomp in puddles drenching them, and laugh up into the sky
While they stare at me thinking, "what the hell is wrong with this guy?"
Then I met you, and you're really fucking cool
But I have to warn you about my personality
My true intentions, even lack of sincerity
I don't know what to do, I can't change even if you wanted me to
I hae a problem, thinking its funny
Seeing people suffer and loving their misery

I can't help it, if I am a piece of shit
I can't help it, if I am a piece of shit
I can't help it, I can't help it

I will hold the door for you, and slam it in your face
Pull your chair out for you, and then whip it out of place
I will put tacs on the seat of your favorite chair
And even put bubble gum, in your pretty blonde hair

I can't help it, if I am a piece of shit
I can't help it, if I am a piece of shit
I can't help it, I am a piece of shit

I will take you out and flirt in front of you with other women
I will tell you I love you, and then fuck all your friends
I am a piece of shit, and I am proud of it

I will pick up my cat, and throw him at your face
Superglue all your prized belongings to your book case
I will give out your number on the bathroom stall
And even tie your shoes together, and laugh you fall

I can't help it, if I am a piece of shit
I can't help it, if I am a piece of shit
I can't help it, I am a piece of shit
I am a piece of shit
I am a piece of shit
I am a piece of shit
And I am proud of it

01/30/2011

Author's Note: Ok, start of a new song, lyrics in the verses are subject to change. I met this girl, and felt the need to write a song about me being a piece of crap prankster. I wouldn't really do all that stuff to her, but it's a fun song to sing. Maybe I could get some input/ideas to help switch around the verses. The flow is kind of weird right now, but the way I play it, it works.

Posted on 01/30/2011
Copyright © 2025 Eric Seligmann