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before i take you down

by Lauren Singer

i mouth the words "put out"
to you, over the coffee table,
passed the whiskey and the
sing-a-long tapes you've been
memorizing with your baby daughter.

you're a good man,
with a pureness about you,
and i know that i can ruin that if i tried.
your girl sits, half-pretty
in her shrunken t-shirt,
her belly hanging out but in a cute way.

i want to say,
"run from me, as fast as you can,
because it would be better than
fucking you in the basement
when she's not home.

but you think that i will save you,
somehow, i will be the answer to the end-all
equation of your nothingness.
the dehydration of your
slow conversation and her
barren replies.

you think i'm so smart,
like i will somehow know what you are thinking.
you hang back in your easy chair,
and she waits for you,
top of the stairs ready to go
and i want you to need her right now.

i want to go home alone
so that when i sleep sullen by myself
i'll know that the universe is somehow
working itself out.

i shouldn't be why you leave the only
good thing that you ever had going.

i should be goddamn lucky just for knowing you,
for keeping you at an arms length
so i don't fuck up what you should make your answer.

12/03/2010

Posted on 12/03/2010
Copyright © 2024 Lauren Singer

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 12/03/10 at 03:52 PM

That's an opening sure to get the eyes up and alert. The visual punch in this is just awesome, relentless.

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