there is something missing in my eyes
i am sitting in a pool of blood
and i am not phased
there is air behind my gaze
there are no shadows here and
i am fighting only myself

i wake up remembering your hands around my neck
my throat closes and my memories become rigid
my hair is short again
i find i change with every season and
i wonder why you never do
i am fucking everything up again
my clothes are soaked
my ears have been pierced but the holes close up
my heart closes up

i am a beach whale,
i am learning to live without the ocean
but nothing feels quite the same when the pool is 70 degrees
you jump in naked,
you tie the rope around your arms
and you dive towards a light only those without glasses on can see
i feel you tug at me

i am two different people tonight
i am the one you swore to love forever
and i am the witch casting spells while you sleep
i sleep with a voodoo doll of you
and i poke you with my ribs

i think you’ve read too much into your books
i think you’re missing points while buried beneath the table
picking scraps of food off the floor
i wasn’t enough for you to eat
i was all leftovers and you demanded new meat.

10/18/2010

Author's Note:

sometimes i become the wrong person
chewing on another skin
and i don’t know if you can become clean enough
to know the difference 

Posted on 10/18/2010
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