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From Now On

by Aaron Blair

Happiness crept into my blood
through the lining of my stomach.
I swallowed the pill. I swallowed the hope.
I prayed to science not to ignore me
the way that god always has.
I burned my old self as an offering,
so the ashes could be shaped
into something new. This is better living
through chemistry. This is a rebirth.
Everything that happens is from now on.

10/10/2010

Author's Note: Inspired by this and this, especially the last line, which is from the Bon Iver song. I started taking an anti-depressant about a month and a half ago, after being depressed for my entire adult life and most of my childhood. I am honestly blown away by how much better I feel and I feel a little ridiculous about how much time I spent being miserable because I was convinced that being on anti-depressants would be somehow detrimental to who I am as a person. IE, I bought into the emotionless zombie stereotype and always believed that I couldn't really be creative without the strong emotion that fuels that creativity. So, at 28 years of age, I feel, for the first time ever, not absolutely certain that life totally sucks and has no redeeming qualities.

Posted on 10/10/2010
Copyright © 2024 Aaron Blair

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Therese Elaine on 10/10/10 at 11:06 PM

I have to say, I admire this a good deal -because as much as there is a danger in over-medication or improperly diagnosing certain mental/emotional conditions, I also believe that there are people who can benefit immensely from using such medications -adhering to either side of the spectrum too stringently is dangerous. And in the case of those who are creatively-inclined and who fear losing that edge, you're proof that one can find an inner calm, while still retaining their imaginative sensibilities...and I am very happy for you!

Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 10/11/10 at 04:27 PM

Whatever inspired it I like the hell out of this. The opening just kicks you right in the throat.

Posted by Dani Rose on 10/22/10 at 03:41 AM

i hope to be in the same boat as you. this was exceptional.

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