the reasons were attached to the window i broke
when trying to kill a fly,

fighting against an abandoned road and
a washed-up alcoholic spending 6 hours in the library reading Noam Chomsky
and getting it

shattered from a small hit, we were full of flies
i had reasons to cry that day
my hands weren’t shaking
but my bones rattled against your face
we danced between the boxes along the floor with
newspaper clippings from 1987
because we thought the year sounded good

we didn’t have a flight plan
but it always turned into a risk
shoveling trash towards the neighbors
and bringing in stray cats to cure the loneliness thick in the air

your smoking was never a turn-on
but i know the anime girls like it,
as they laugh at every inappropriate joke
and fall over tipsy from one sip of your whiskey

they’re barely legal,
barely standing
and barely have a brain between their sagging fake breasts
everyone there thinks you’re funny

i was always the only one who never laughed
and maybe it’s because i was too busy trying to tear down your character
to see what was beneath
maybe they’re satisfied with what’s on top

it’s the ending that still gets to me,
the way we drank in separate rooms that last night
and held onto the floor with all our limbs hoping for one more day
but it wasn’t quite cold enough to warrant snuggling
and i just couldn’t take one more fight

i think it’s you who said goodbye to me
screaming into the phone,
changing the tune from just a few hours before
where you said you’d always choose me over her

everything was a fragment of something else

you’ll run back to the people before
and you will blame me and tell your family one side of a never-ending story

you will put it all back together,
thinking you were somehow happier then
and i will drive towards another coast
and i will find a new island to bury my broken heart again

i will send you a postcard for every day i don’t cry
and you will never read them.

09/08/2010

Posted on 09/08/2010
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