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I'm running out of fingers to count on, baby
by Jolie JordanWhy are we building a life together
just to tear it apart on the weekends?
I am constantly spitting my words
through whiskeywet lips
and you pick up my thoughts
like breadcrumbs.
Are you saving them in your deep pockets?
or are you even listening at all,
because this keeps happening.
I'm counting down the times
on bruised fingers
that I can forgive you,
just because we're both
hungover, hungry, and burnt from
last night's fist fights.
I sometimes wonder what the neighbors think,
or if they even listen in anymore. perhaps they are
bored with us now. We fight so much
it's no wonder we love so hard when we're not.
My heart is fierce and beats deep for you,
but my mom wonders what's wrong when my voice cracks
and my brother wonders why he missed calls from me at 4 am.
my dad though, is more like you, and maybe I should take that as a sign,
especially since I've never liked him much
at all. 08/17/2010 Posted on 08/17/2010
Copyright © 2024 Jolie Jordan
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Jeffrey Parren on 08/17/10 at 09:25 AM I'm not going to speak for everyone, but I do know I have gone through this myself. The fire is lit and burns at all times and fiercely at the best and the worst. You have to decide if the good outweighs the bad or if you can forget the bad and focus on the good...it is a tough choice...~JPP |
| Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 08/17/10 at 01:09 PM Brilliant and decidedly awesome. |
| Posted by V. Blake on 08/18/10 at 12:30 AM I'm always excited to see your name in the new poems list, and you justified that excitement once again. My only suggestion would be to fix up the last line in the fifth stanza, "it's no wonder we love so hard when we're not." My suggestion would be simply to remove "when we're not," but "when we don't" works as well. Either way, awesome stuff. :) |
| Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 08/18/10 at 12:37 PM I love it when the poem easily measures up a really, really awesome title. Terrific. |
| Posted by Frankie Sanchez on 10/06/10 at 08:15 PM The title speaks volumes and the content boldly and honest. I wanted to use the word "decidedly" but Gabriel beat me to it. Well done. |
| Posted by Nadia Gilbert Kent on 11/04/10 at 05:21 PM Didn't want it to end. |
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