just add a poem
just create something else for no one to fucking care about
and just make it fake because your own feelings should be bottled
and don't tell anyone the truth
ever
because they will twist it and label you with things you don't want
and leave friendships to chance
because who knows when one of you will just walk away
and love,
well love isn't real unless it's full
and partiality was never on your side
and trust,
well trust isn't gained unless it was earned

the watercolors will be a lie,
they will show nakedness and emptiness
and a vulnerability that didn't exist
because i kept my clothes on
and i couldn't drink the wine
and i wasn't able to tell you why
because you told me things didn't matter anymore
and the bottle has become full
and everything is going to be okay
okayokayokay
that's all i wanted you to fucking say
no pat on my head
no forgiveness given
and i am expected to forget
i am to move on,
take my sorrows,
take those regrets
and swallow them whole

it will all be a ship sinking
but you won't cry for it
you will never be able to cry again.

05/27/2010

Author's Note:

a rant, a venting of sorts because 
i had no where else to properly 
place it.

Posted on 05/27/2010
Copyright © 2024 Ava Blu

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Therese Elaine on 05/28/10 at 12:20 AM
I think sometimes it is easy for people to forget that the gift of words that is a poem, should not be perverted for personal gain, nor ignored for lack of comfort contained, nor warped to make of the author friend or enemy...the words should be read, considered, and appreciated, if for no other reason than someone had the guts and the determination to write them down.
Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 05/28/10 at 03:33 AM
It's a hell of a good rant. It's calculated chaos of the best order. I love how this spits and screams and breathes fire in every single wild line. This is a lot more raw than your usual poems, which is saying something where a lot of them are concerned. It's another great write.
Posted by Matthew Sharp on 05/28/10 at 09:02 PM
well said..this reminds me of some personal issues...this has a big effect on me...so...thank you for writing it in a way that only you can do...
Posted by George Hoerner on 05/29/10 at 02:44 AM
As a rant it's great and there is nothing wrong with a rant. And nobody wants to be labeled!! When we send notes to ourselves we should go out of our way to look at them periodically. At least in a year, but in a year you might feel the same way. It took me a number of decades to read things I wrote early in life and to realize that a quick read would let me think I still believed what I wrote and on some level I did. But I finally realized that in fact I had changed and I think for the better though I’m not really sure. I’m still searching for what I may never find. So make statements but don’t forget to see along the way if you have changed how you feel. Early on things were black and white. But somewhere they merged and there is less black and white and a helluvalot of gray. And the gray isn’t to excuse anything, it is just a more realistic look at the world.
Posted by Jeffrey Parren on 06/01/10 at 02:28 PM
I suppose the last line is the summation of it all, obviously being at the end, though it really holds up the idea that is carried through.  Exposure makes some go outward, others in, I suppose.  I go in, that is for sure, but sometimes could explode.  ~JPP