Dear Lord, my hair is a mess.

by Maria Francesca

My hair is a mess.

It's because of the humidity.
Dampness in the air
always sends my hair
right back to the motherland.

This is just another way
that God chooses
to punish black women.

Now, I'm not whining;
I'm certain he's punishing you, too.

He's punishing all of us
in various ways:

frizzy hair
excess belly fat

The list goes on ad infinitem.

He's punishing us all
he just can't get any rest
what with worrying about

who you'll vote for on election day
whether you read the Da Vinci Code
whether you went to confession last week
whether you took His name in vain
who's marrying who
who should win the Oscar / Grammy / Super Bowl
who'll be the next American Idol.

I guess I might be kind of cranky, too,
in His position.

the point is
that I'm having a bad hair day

and it's probably because of gay marriage
and the liberal media
and stem cell research

and I have a really important date tonight

so if we could all just work together
and find some way to appease Him

then maybe,
just maybe

I could get laid.


Posted on 05/11/2010
Copyright © 2023 Maria Francesca

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Olivia Weinkein on 05/11/10 at 05:15 AM

this is hysterical. love it, completely. going into my favs :)

Posted by Colleen Sperry on 05/11/10 at 12:46 PM

oh my Goodness.. this was great.. from the title to the last line!! LOVED IT

Posted by Charlie Morgan on 05/11/10 at 03:18 PM

...maria, this is a chuckler...great delivery, good lineage...

Posted by Nanette Bellman on 05/12/10 at 05:13 AM

That is one helluva an ending!

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