'NOW,ONE,WHO'LL GIMME ONE,NOW TWO,TWO,NOW THREE,GIMME FOUR.
The song of the auctioneer is ringing in my ears
as I sort though the boxes of treasure and more.
"How'd I manage to buy all this stuff here?"

I raised my hand to wave to a friend.
"SOLD! What's your number little lady?"
"What'd I buy now?" "This pile from here to the end."
So I kept my hands still until I swung at a bee.

"SOLD! To the lady with the deer in the headlights look."
When I get home I'm gonna be in trouble,
this sale has taken a chunk from my checkbook.
When Hubby sees what I bought, it'll bust my bubble.

You just have to be there to know what I mean.
When the auction bug gets under your skin,
you suddenly turn into a bidding machine
and you find yourself buying at the slightest of whim.

My hands start to itch and my eyes take on a sheen.
The auctioneer is singing his song just to me.
I've just got to have that old sewing machine,
no matter what, it's meant to be.

That bitch has out bid me on an item once more.
I'll get it or she'll pay dearly for it.
It's worth tweny bucks but she'll pay fifty four.
cause I'll keep raising the bid in our battle of wit.

"SOLD!" "Oh No! I've bought an old fiddle.
I've been caught in my own trap. OEY VEY!
I bid it up high and she stopped in the middle.
Guess I'll learn to play or sell it on "E Bay"

Now the sale is over and I've spent my last buck.
I've got to call my family and friends dear
and beg them "Please can I borrow your truck?",
and they'll say "You're banned from auctions all year."

05/10/2010